In my own words...
I'll try to explain what it does to me.
When a person gets a fright they jump, nerves go
all jittery. Heart races... you got into fight flight fear mode.
when you realise there's no danger.... you calm yourself down.
When someone with PTSD
gets a fright. We go into same fight flight fear mode. We have no way of coming back out of that mode... We can't shut down & calm down.
We've never felt safe...
We get very tired as always on red alert. If we get a
fright we can't function properly.
I get a trigger from my childhood. It could be a simple smell... a scent of a flower.
I'm taken right back to the occasion it happened & the panic builds.
The traumatised child is always with me. I try so hard just to be normal.
I'm trying to learn all lifes skills but with all this disruption in my head it's difficult.
I have to shut myself away from all human interaction sometimes, as head just can't take anymore.
I'm doing therapy to try & deal with some of it, but even that is overwhelming at times.
The choices are too much at times. Never being taught the simple things in life then functioning for years just on auto pilot. I feel like my whole life has just flashed before me. No one there to hear my cries for help.
No win situation? Time will tell... I have enough hope & courage to keep trying.
Start again in ms dos... If only!