It's taken me a long time to realise why I had trust issues... I wasn't the one with a problem, it was a reaction to things other people had done to me, I now understand... I trust my daughter, my son in law & grandkids... Why? They've never done anything for me to question what they do. No hidden agenda for their actions. I do have trust, I'm just very wary, as proven on many occasions it's something someone's actions towards me that have created me to worry. I have realised now that I can't change anyone. I just have to accept their actions are theirs to own & if they want to do something bad to me... I let them own it & walk away. Every days a learning day. I'm getting there.
It's been a while since I've been on here. Wriggles in seat & gets comfy, now where do I start... Head goes into overdrive, so much to say, I'll take it as it comes to me. ( mental note to self, remember to eat, as I eye up the chocolate cake). I've become that thin my bones in my butt are aching on the chair already. Need to eat the carbs... Any excuse to eat that cake huh! I'll wait till kids are home at lunchtime, as they finish school here in Malta at 1. Malta you ask? Yes my full family have settled here. My darling daughter kelly runs the family coffee shop, Jason works as a carpenter fitting windows & doors, Jnr & Cara are now settled in school in Malta & love it. Me... Well I'll give you a health update for now, I still suffer from my spinal stenosis, fibromyalgia, have some odd pains in my hands & feet now, persistent headaches which I've had checked & have been diagnosed with a melanoma in my brain, it's only 1/2 inch & not cancerous... My way of looking at it, at least they've found I have a brain.
I've been through a rather tough time, emotional roller-coaster, but I'm doing ok now. Got calls that I was needed to give evidence about historic events, freaked me right out, but person involved pled guilty & saved me from going through it all again. Albeit when you're faced with it again... Any mention of the past takes you right back to traumatic state, not nice at all. I've been stuck in that place for a few years & it's been exhausting. I Have another officer trying to get me to give evidence & feel so torn. It's very unfair. I don't want to do this anymore, yet that makes me a hypocrite & goes against everything I stand for. Speaking out & being honest. ( I'll work it out).
There's a bit of light at the end of the tunnel too, as I've heard murmurs that the historic law I've been caught up in is finally changing, fingers x'd I finally get the closure I need.
Only thing that keeps the smile on my face is my little family & the little things I've done to help people in my life... Even if they do chose to forget. No one can take my memories from me... Ever! Some people have very short memories, but I remember it all & no matter how people try to twist the truth, it always has a way of seeping out, so I bite my tongue & wait for karma to do its job for me. It usually does, look at my life now. I believe it does work. Stay positive & keep thinking good, positive thoughts. Off for now, nana duties... Fun time kids have finished school, I have a cake with my name on it & dogs to take out to the park. Catch up soon. Hope you're all in a good place & I'm sorry for going off the grid for so long... Have a nice day! Liz x
Just to break the ice... to say hello. I will try and update this as i go along, as you've probably gathered by now, i'm not a proffesional at this. I am doing it to keep myslef busy and to keep you company so together we will make it through the dark times. Does that sound fair enough to you?. Please stay a while and browse... I have added a few links that may be of use to you. liz x